Mental Patient Jokes

A doctor at a mental institution is interviewing patients to see if they are ready to go home.

"Right," he says to one patient "youve been recommended for release, tell me, what would you do when you leave here?"

"Well," says the patient "I used to do engineering, so I could go back to that... I might write a book about my time here, I think it would be interesting... and I've discovered an interest in art while I've been here, so I might do a course."

"Ok," says the doctor "those sound like very good things to do."

"And," says the patient "the best thing is that in my spare time, I can carry on being a teapot!"

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A patient in a mental hospital had his case reviewed after he had dived into the swimming pool and rescued a drowning friend.

"Well," said the doctor "there is good news and bad news. The good news is that your heroic actions show that you have dealt well with your time here, and you can go home."

The patient was understandably very pleased, but he asked "What's the bad news?"

"Ah," said the doctor "I am afraid that shortly after you saved his life, your friend hung himself."

"He didn't hang himself!" the patient cried. "I hung him out to dry."